100% pear, 98% shit advert.

I like Mark Watson. He's pretty funny on shows like Mock the Week, even if he fakes his Welsh accent. However, he isn't making me laugh here:

I don't know whether Watson had a gammy knee the day they filmed this advert, but the way he bumbles towards the camera in the first scene makes it look like he has shat himself. Either way, his mate Duncan seems surprised that his promotion in his crappy, dead-end office job is... a slightly different crappy dead-end office job. You'd almost think he was expecting a promotion to sweets and fireworks tester or blowjob receiver.

So, why didn't they tell it to him straight, like a pear cider? Yeah, why didn't they? Because everyone knows pear cider is the universal benchmark with which to measure the veracity of all other statements. Incidentally - the fact that pear cider contains 100% pear is about as surprising as finding out Mickey Rourke is 50% plastic.

And 50% scary-ass grimace.

Whereas the last Watson fronted Magners ad had a relatively decent punch-line (even if it wasn't mind-blowingly funny), this one doesn't even have that for a saving grace. 

"Wasn't one of the classic conferences then?" 

HAHA!

Fuck off.*

*Ironically, this isn't my best sign off either.